A Strategy for Critical Teachers

Why do some teachers not care? Why do some not bother to teach or answer questions. And most importantly, why is it that some teachers must ensure they’re the master of the classroom, as if, we are not allowed to think for ourselves. This report is a guide to teach you how to manage teachers that don’t care and how to do a little work possible and be extremely successful in the process. Warning: if you are an unethical person leave now.

In looking back at this past year I see a few standards of getting good grades and having a successful school career. They are, be a politician, first-impressions last a grading period, and don’t think for yourself –or more importantly don’t let your teacher know that you do.

Being the Politician

Is it not an anomaly that the teacher’s pet gets the good grades? Now, here is where I must distinguish a difference in between a “suck-up” and a politician. The politician manages their teacher and ensure that the teacher feels as though they are the “alpha male/female” whereas the “teachers-pet” will brown nose the teacher for good grades, the teachers-pet never is able to asses any control over situations and has no influence on the teacher. The politician uses every tool in his arsenal to ensure an A or A+ and in doing so he creates a net of safety that gives him flexibility in the classroom. The key to being a politician is, first, knowing what his grade is and examining what it will take to do the least amount of work to ensure an A. This normally means not having to do homework assignment as long as he can understand the curriculum and achieve high grades on quizzes and test. Second, knowing how to read the teachers moods to understand how she will react to small pushes. Generally, making small pushes that edit themselves each time is the key to manipulating teachers into getting them to push back due dates and wave punishments on late assignments. Finally, you must manage the teacher. To do this you have to make the teacher feel as though they are the smartest person ever and boost their ego this generally involves praising them for answering question that you asked about doing something in the class and softly grin as you realize how easy this actually is, but don’t take this as an OK to be a “suck-up”. A teacher will know if you are and this will deflate their ego and get you nowhere quickly.

When You Mess-Up

If you expect that being a Politician is easy then you are sadly mistaken. You will encounter teachers that don’t like you. You will encounter teachers that can see your confidence and see your ability to excel and they will try to cut it down. I’ve seen this happen myself and I first hand realized that the teachers that liked me best were the ones who I introduced myself to at the beginning of the year, conversely, those who I didn’t pay much attention at the first meeting were not as manageable and those were also the ones that taught me to develop teacher independent factors of control on your class’ success.   This is why you must use factors independent of the teacher, like figuring out how to do the least work and still make an A, and ensuring that you excel in the more important part of your curriculum, the tests, because it gives you the advantage and gives you the ability to have a finer control over your teacher.

Being A Sheep

My final observation and this the most substantial is that it seems as though teachers think that we cannot think for ourselves, they think that we cannot teach ourselves curriculum that they complain are to dumbed down by the state, and they think that we are sheep that they must lead to the light of basic math or science and that without them we would never be able to do such a thing as teach ourselves or think for ourselves. The worst of this problem is that when they see those who do think for themselves, their ideas are suppressed and we are punished for creative thought. This is a joke! How dare they say we ought not learn! How dare they say we cannot have a conversation about politics that the teacher did not instigate! How dare they not answer a questions because it’s too complicated for a “high school curriculum”! And even more, they decide it’s completely fine that they may impose their beliefs and their biases on what they think is wrong and what “ought” to be done in this world. Though this veil of ignorance they impose upon us is also their weakness, because when the impose their biases on you it gives you a doorway to exploit it. “Yes Mr. Teacher I think Obama is a fascist. If I wrote an essay about it, would you accept it as extra-credit?” Next, pretending that the information they are feeding you, with partiality, is legitimate and that they are correct about everything the teachers say makes the teacher trust you and it creates yet another exploitable flaw to use to your advantage. Manipulation is the only way to manage a teacher that is biased and treats his students as though they are sheep and he is the Messiah that will teach them everything that is important in their life.  I honestly feel that these teachers are trying to make themselves into gods that students bow down to. For those that are smart enough to manage these teachers we only have to make them think we are bowing down to them.

Don’t Be Evil

Remember that, skills like these are powerful and were possessed by people who did much hurt in the world. I’m asking you to be careful and before you use these skills to ensure that what your doing is ethical. Because if your good at using these skills and can manage your teachers well it can leave open the possibility of becoming corrupt, though I think that when you try to do this you will fail, and this is because even if you have no sense of morality your teachers still will have a moral compass and so if your going to manage your teacher and be a politician then you have to act morally or suffer losing all the trust and possible teacher dependent factors of management.


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